Tord: Robot Overlord and Destroyer
by funnybunny16
Summary: There is a big secret that Tord has been hiding from the rest of the gang. What in the world is he planning to do? The team of Eddsworld must figure it out by hunting down the crazed Norwegian gunman.


**Hey guys, it's me! This fanfic is about the adventures from the characters of Eddsworld. I thought it would be interesting to write a fanfic about a series that doesn't have a lot of fanfics in its archive…so here you go. Fans of the show, I hope you enjoy this!**

 **Anyways, on with the fic…**

 **TORD: ROBOT OVERLORD & DESTROYER**

Matt, Edd, and Tom were all in the living room going thorough photo albums one day and were perusing it with a bunch of care. Tom wrapped his arm around Edd and smiled, which was rare of him considering he was almost always frowning. Edd looked at him passionately and the two started to kiss. They were deeply in love with eachother and loved tasting eachothers saliva on their tongues. Matt didn't even notice their erotic touched on eachother. He was too busy looking as pictures of himself. He pulled out his member and started to jack off to the pictures.

Suddenly, Tord burst through the door holding guns.

"Hai guys!" he announced loudly. "Check out my new gunz. They're really cool and can shoot bullets almost as fast as the speed of light. They're really super cool." Tom and Edd stopped feeling eachothers cocks and looked up at Tord.

"TORD!" Tom yelled. "What the actual fuck!? Can't you see we're having an inanimate moment? I don't give a damn about your stupid guns? Go away. We all want to have some peas and quite."

Tord was deeply upset by this. He wanted everybody to see his magmun calibrator that could shoot gold bullet—ten at a time. He got very mad. Tom saw he was going to throw a temper tantrum and threw a very hot hot pocket at Tord's face. Tord screamed and ran out the door crying. He licked the cheese off his face and proceeded toward his house, where he saw his girlfriend, Lavender.

"Hay buddy what's wrong?" she asked him, licking the rest of the cheese of him. Tord looked at Lavender's large tits and suddenly got a boner.

"Tom, Edd, and Matt hate me. They said I was interrupting their special moment and said it was inanimate and then Tom threw a hot pocket at my face. They didn't even want to see my new guns. My guns are super awesome!"

Lavender was mad that Tom, Edd, and Matt weren't nice to her boyfriend and thought that Tord should do something about it so he could stop being so depressed. She looked at him with sparkling eyes when she was about to kiss his cheek she saw that Tord's cheek had melted off from the hot hot pocket cheese and was not revealing muscle or skin…but metal.

"Tord!" she cried out. "Good god are you a cyborg?"

Tord's brown eyes suddenly turned red and his teeth were now shiny and silver. He looked at Lavender with an evil face and then spoke with a deep demonic robot face. "Yes…it's about time somebody learned about my intentions. Hahahaha…"

Lavender backed away toward the wall. "What intentions are you talking about, Tord?"

"I am part robot part human. I wasn't able to show off my robot parts until somebody else revealed it with some brutal force." Another demonic laugh. "For you see I am the captain of an undead zombie-human-robot army. I was spawned when a robot fucked a human and the human gave birth to me—evil Tord. MWAHAHAHA…"

Lavender was now shaking. "I'VE DATED YOU FOR ALMOST FIVE FUCKING YEARS AND NOW I KNOW YOU'RE A ROBOT!? That's fucking stupid! I'm leaving you Tord until you shed out your robot parts and become a real man with a nice dick. Your lil wiener could barely satisfy a baby. Fuck off."

Tord took out his multi-calliber machine gun with speed of light bullets and shot them at Lavender, her body exploding into little flesh bits, blood and organs all over his alls. Tord grinned and smoked a cigar. He loved the color of blood and decided to keep her blood on his walls as a reminder of her…even though she was a little whore who never enjoyed his dick…who cared? It was his only girlfriend.

Tord grinned. He decided he was going to shed more of his skin and reveal some more robotic parts. Not was his chance to take over the world with his legion of the robotic undead. Nothing was going to stop him not…not even the U.S army. He had a legion waiting for him on Mars who he was going to summon down to Earth to bring all chaos onto Earth. He shed the skin on his dick, revealing a huge robo-cock. He smiled down at it. It would come as a useful tool for later. He grinned and finished the last of his cigar.

…

Matt had jazzed himself to sleep on the floor, his dick very flaccid and laying against his thigh. He snored a little but, but it wasn't disturbing Edd or Tom. They had both cum in eachothers asses and it felt like burning hot liquid scalding on Earth. They had both almost fallen to a long sleep on the couch when they heard the phone ring.

Tom jumped off the couch and ran to the phone, cock swinging between his thighs. He answered. "Helloi?"

"Tom!" It was the mayor of the town speaking. What crimes did the three if them have to fight now? This late at night?"

"What do you want mayor?" asked Tom, no longer tired. "It's very early in the morning and we're sleepy as fuck. Is there something uyo need us for?"

"YAS!" the mayor screamed. "TORD IS SECRETLY S ROBOT THAT IS PLANNIG ON TAKING OVER ENGLAND! He has a giant robot zombie legion that he is planning on sending to wipe humanity off the planet. This is deadly serious. He has a bunch of very powerful guns with him and it it very frightening. You guys need to come to my office this instant!"

Tom hung up the phone and beat Edd and Matt on their chests as hard as he could, knocking the semen right out of their dicks projectile-like onto the walls of the living room. "Guys! Tord is a robot with a robot-zombie legion with guns! We gotta go down to the Mayor building so that we can help. Get the fuck up he needs us!"

Matt and Edd shot up, put on some speedos and Adidadas and they all jogged down to the Mayor's building, where they saw that the walls were covered with blood. Dead taxpayers were laying on the ground with their organs nailed to the wall and their eyes gouged out. Tord and his legion had been there, earlier! They raced to the Mayor's office where he was shiting, shaking like a leaf, waiting for them.

"Good!" he announced. "You made it. "A gang of robo-zombies came in here and fucked some shit up with the taxpayerds now they're all dead. It's up to you guys!"

Matt was terrified the most. "But the three of us nheed some backup! We need something like a macho man or a group of soldiers that need t o back us up. Can you supply us with something that can help us?"

The mayor grinned. "I knew one of you guys would ask that." The mayor pushed a red buton and out stepped a macho man wearing nothing but a speedo and a cape. He was very sexy and bore a cool-looking mustache with his name on it. The man was dancing to a Pitbull rap song as was looking at all three of them seductively.

Tom started screaming. "Oh my god it's Eduardo! You asshole of a mayor. Why did you give us thois guy? He hates our butts and we hate him. Can't you give us something else?"

The Mayor shook his head. "No."

"Okay."

The mayor shooed them off out into the dark streets. "He'll help you guys very well." The Mayor called loudly from his office. "He has experience in fighting, kicking, punching, and eating dick. You guys are gonna need him. He can also fly so that should help you a bit. Good luck guys." He then slammed the doors and lcoked it 26 times.

The four men walked into the streets, speedos and all and were looking for the giant robot that _they_ owned named Edd II. It was a big black robot with huge eyes and a control room behind them so you could control the robot. When Edd mentioned this to Eduardo, Eduardo agreed that he would use the robot. The three men agreed on that and soon found the robot parked awain a dark forest.

Eduardo got in and knew right away how to control robot since he took robot controlling lessons in school. The robot walked away from the forest and toward the city. Edd and Tom wandered away to the Eastern part of town where they began walking to the highest part of town. The cold chill runs down their dicks through the speedos as they clamber up and look around. Where in the world did Tord's legion go?"

"I never knew Tord wasa robot," Matt said.

"Neither did I," said Edd. Tord said he most likely knew. He told the story of how Tord was little he would field trips to Mars with his robot dad and there they took the corpses of human and fumigated them with the bodies of robots creating the non-alien martian race ogf Mars and destruction. Edd and Matt were shocked by the end of the story.

"You asshole!" Edd cried out. "Why didn't you tell us this earlier so that maybe we could have taken the poor bloke into therapy? It must be terrifying." Tom just shrugged.

"I didn't think much of it until now…since he is planning on taking over the woirld and all. I wonder what his intentions are…"

Suddenly, the walkie-talkie in Tom's speedo started going off. He tuned in and spoke through. "Oh..hello?"

"Tom! It's me, Eduardo! Tord is super fast and all. His legion is huge! He has gotten very scary Tom you need to get over here now!"

Tom screamed and then yelled "Hold on, Eduardo! We're coming to the rescue. We'll be there in about five hours we have our rocket boots with us so maybe we should get over there faster."

"Why is it going to take you five hours to get over here and save my ss?" Eduardo commented.

"Because it's my birthday," said Tom. We're gonna fly over to the cupqcake deli and pick up a doizen cupcakes before we save your ass and beat up Tord's. Not does that make any sense to you now?"

"Yeah."

The sky has now turned a brilliant orange, and is very scary looking. The horizon almost looks demonic as is symbolizing an apocalypse of some weird alien kind…which in some ways was most definetly the case.

Eduardo hangs up the walkie talkie just in time to see Tord. He is still about 7'1, yet he has almost changed. Most of his body is now silver and his eyes glow a furious red and he is grinning maniacally. His dong is a little over 50 feet long and rotating blades are on either side of the glans of his dick, rolling him along behind it and shredding up city buildings and the denizens that are below. If the denizens aren't crushing by his gland-dick blades, then they are killed and eaten by the robo-zombie army.

He sees the large black robot coming towards him and stops for a second. He peeks in and sees Eduardo inside and starts laughing.

"Why does a mortal man with a tiny dik think he can challenge my impressiveness?" His voice is very daemonic and robotic at the same time. Eduardo shivered as he was destined to hear the unpreachable voice of Tord ring through his ears and his brain.

Tord laughs again and aims toward him. "Come for me, Eduardo! Taste my CUM!" He jerks off his gigantic metallic and spews translucent white semen in the direction of the black robot. Tord also turns around and shoots flaming testicles out of his ass. The robot falls down from the weight of the cum and the fiery testicles and falls down, somehow not killing Eduardo from the impact of the fall. He clambers out only to lifted in the air by a tall robo-zombie.

"I won't let my minions kill you!" Tord says. "You have a very nice ass that needs to brutually violated. I will keep you alive, but you must be assfucked to a high degree. Minions! Take him away to the railroad tracks."

"The railroad tracks?" Eduardo squeaks. "Why am I being hauled off the the railroad tracks?"

Tord is grinning his evil maniacal grin. "Because there, you will be fucked by Thomas the Tank Engine. This is Britain after all."

Eduardo is way to skared to scream, and lets himself be haquled off by the two robo-zombies to the railroad tracks in the Island of Sodor. They tie him doe to the tracks face-down, his hands tied to the wooden underpart of the track and his legs spread out even further yet still tied down on the wooden part so Thomas won't run over them.

Eduardo hears Thomas approaching behind him, tooting hias once-cute whistle which was replaced with a loud foghorn. Thomas has changed quite a bit. His paint is still blue, yet on the side on his train body is written 'Thomas the DANK Engine', which summed him up perfectly.

"They changed the name of the fucking island!" Thomas screamed demonically at Eduardo. "It's now called the Island of So-Whore….because all the trains are now forced to fuck the people who Tord wants to keep alive. We are now prostitutes and that sucks!"

Eduardo riggled around for a little bit. "Then why don't you let me go?"

Thomas licked his lips in unison. "Because you have a nice ass," he commented. "I can't wait to plough my huge train dick in your mexicann hole. You're actually lucky to have _me_ fuck you instead of most of the other trains. Gordon has a dick about 8 feet long."

"And…how big is yours?" asked Eduardo.

"About 7'10. I'm big for a small engine. The only train they killed was Percy. His dick was so small that it couldn't pleasure a Chihuahua. They scrapped him and turned it into Tord's throne. Now…to the assfucking."

Thomas went forth and stuck his horse-like train dick in Eduardo's asshole. Eduardo screamed as his hemmorhoids turned blue and his asshole stretched to accommodate the large girth. Thomas moaned and rode back again, before slamming himself forward again. While he moaned, Eduardo cried and wished for the three men to find him and rescue him from this torturous prison.

Edd, Matt, and Tom flew into the city Tord was destroying to see the gruesome sight of Tord with his rotating-blades on his huge glans on his 55 foot-long dick, shredding the town before them. The robo-zombies were chomping on things and killing people to the max degree and licking elephant poo. This was nightmare to behold.

Tom flew in from of Tord and crossed his arms. Tord looked at him with red eyes and chuckled. "Hello, NO-eyes…how are you doing?"

Tom was still crossing his arms, but wiped off some chocolate cupcake frosting. "I want you to stop destroying the town as a birthday present for me."

"Fuck you," roared Tord. "You never gave a shit about my birthday…now you will pay with your grievances! You never appreciated anything I did for you so I shall destroy what you are trying to offer to me!"

"TORD!" Matt yelled from the ground. "Where is Eduardo?"

Tord grinned. "He's still alive. He has a nice ass, so I thought it was be foolsh of me to kill a man who has a good ass for destroying." Matt and Edd screamed bloody murder in disgust. Tom got dangerously close to Tord.

"Where is EDUARDO!?"

Tord laughed. "You can go grab him if you wish. He'll be destroyed a little bit internally…literally…but he'll still be alive. He's on the Island of Sodor."

Tom fwelt his ass loosen up as his speedo filled with shit from disgust. "WHY THE FUCK IS HE ON THE ISLAND OF SODOR!?"

"Because," Tord began. "He needed to be fucked by a machine that was not one of my own men. He's tied to the train tracks getting brutually ass-raped by Thomas the Tank Engine. Al the trains are whores now, so they will gladly be at your assistance…if you happen to have a fetish about fucking trains with faces that is."

The men all looked at eachother and then decided to fly off the the Island of Sdoor, where they witnessed the gruesome acts taking place. Trains of all sorts fucking people on the train tracks and making people blow them. It was a truly awful experience that none of the men wanted to see. While looking for Thomas, they came upon a female train with large metal tits.

"Can I do assistance to any of you foxy fucks?" she asked.

"What's your name?" asked Matt.

"My name is Emily," said the femme-engine, wiggling her tits around to try to arouse them…which didn't work in the slightest.

"Fuck you Emily," Tom said and then the three flew off, leaving Emily lonely again looking for a partner to fuck. After what seemed like a while of flying over bloody, semem covered tracks, they finally found Thomas fucking Eduardo in the quarry. They could hear Eduardo's shrieks as they flew down in front of the engine fucking the Mexican man.

"Stop fucking him," said Edd. "We're here to pick him up."

Thomas stopped his actions and looked up. They could hear Eduardo sigh in relief, his asshole stretched and a bit bloody. "Awwwwww…" moaned Thomas in frustration. "Me, James, and Toby were going to give him a bukkake but oh well, maybe next time. That'll be $1800."

Edd untied Eduardo and looked at the train in the eyes. "What the fuck? He was forced here by his will and you raped him yet you still want us to pay thousands of bucks for a man getting raped in the ass? Fuck you!"

They all shit on Thomas's face and the four of them flew off the island of Sodor, where they encountered Tord making tornadoes of feces and urinals flighting through the air at the speed of light and laughing demonically.

"I know how to stop this evil!" Eduardo cried. He raised his hands in the air and started to chant something in Spanish. Lightning suddenly flashed through the air and then time stopped. A ultra-violet void filled the sky which rained body parts of all types of humans. Tord looked up, just in time for his fifty foot-long dong to be struck off by the heat of the lightining.

He screamed as he saw his colossal metal dick detach from his body…the glans pointing up like a cannon since the rotating blade wheels were keeping it partially upright. It was strange looking. Since Tord no longer has support in the air from his phallus, he fell down to the ground and landed on his metallic butt, getting bruises of all types.

The four men approached him and with one of Tord's speed-of-light guns, they shot the poor bastard and his metal body exploded everywhere, leaving bits and pieces here and there. The robo-zombies were all shot down as if they were doo drops until there wasn't a single one in sight. The four men nodded to eachother and went to the mayor.

"You killed Tord!" The mayor exclaimed. "Excellent! We shall have a warm celebration across all of Britain!"

They all celebrated by hosting a big party…and erecting Tord's dick cannon-like outside of the Mayor's building…just for a little memory of him.

 **THE END**

 **Whoo! I hope you enjoyed that story. Took a while to write but that's totally okay! Anyways, my next story is going to be my 15** **th** **STORY! Woo-hoo! It should be a special one! It'll be out soon. Stick around and follow me on Fanfiction for more details and more good stories!**

 **Until then, tah-tah for now!**


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